Earlier this month, Allie X performed her catchy synthpop anthems at British Summer Time in London’s Hyde Park. But to Allie X, her music is about more than that. She sees it as an attempt to reunite with her Shadow, or the part of herself that she feels she lost during her childhood, and experience what she calls #FEELINGX.

 

Allie X spoke with us about her fans, the ups and downs of being a performer, and her ongoing quest to become whole again.

 

FAULT: Why do you go by the name Allie X?

AX: X represents the unknown, and it represents the identity that I’ve taken on a journey to become my full self. So Allie X is incomplete, and if I were to become whole again, then I would be just Allie.

 

FAULT: Are you always Allie X, or only when you’re making music?

AX: Always.

FAULT: Was losing your Shadow one singular event, or did it happen over time?

AX: That’s a question that I’m trying to answer myself. I’m not really sure. I think things generally tend to happen over time; it tends to be more of an evolution. But from what I’ve been told, the change happens very quickly—like almost overnight. Looking back, I don’t really know. That’s why it’s easier to write it in a comic form. Because when it becomes fiction, it’s looser with how you remember it.

 

FAULT: Do you ever achieve #FEELINGX as an adult?

AX: Yes, I do. #FEELINGX can be many different things. For me, the thing I can compare it to is the feeling you get when you’re spinning and making yourself dizzy, and then you fall to the floor and everything around you keeps moving. That’s the best analogy for #FEELINGX.

FAULT: Which is the more rewarding experience: being in the studio, or performing onstage?

AX: It’s kind of hard to decide. Each has incredibly gratifying moments—like if you’re in the studio and just out-of-nowhere come up with a great hook or melody. It’s a magic feeling. And then I could say the same kind of feeling comes when you are onstage, and you walk out and every single person in the audience knows every word to your song that you made. You get this crazy rush.

But then both also have downsides. Like in the studio, you can feel like the scum of the earth sometimes, torturing yourself by questioning why you ever even got into the business, and why you can’t write one damn good song. And then when you’re on the road touring, there’s a lot of brutal things that go along with that as well. So I guess it would depend on the day. They both have their good points and their bad points.

 

 

FAULT: Was British Summer Time your first experience playing in the U.K.?

AX: No, I had one show in London, at Birthdays in Dalston. And then on this trip I came back and did British Summer Time and Oslo [Hackney].

 

FAULT: Are there any ways in which British fans are different from North American fans?

AX: British people, generally, are very dry with their humour and definitely more witty than Americans (laughs). I was raised in a British family, so I’m used to that, and it actually feels pretty normal to me. I haven’t toured a ton compared to artists who tour year-round, but I do notice that I’ve had incredible enthusiasm from the U.K. audiences. I don’t know if that’s typical or not, but I did notice that.

 

FAULT: What is body ecology?

AX: That’s the diet that I’ve been following for over three years now, and it’s basically that you don’t eat any form of sugar. So I don’t eat beets, or potatoes, or fruits. And obviously no honey, maple syrup, refined sugar cane, whatever. And then there’s no gluten, no dairy—a stress on probiotic foods. It basically just restores your inner ecology.

FAULT: And you do transcendental meditation as well, right?

AX: You know what? I’m going to be completely honest and say that I was doing it for a period of time, and then I stopped. I just wasn’t… uh, Transcending (laughs), I guess. I struggle with anxiety, and it was an effort to deal with that, but it wasn’t really doing it for me. That’s not something I’m proud of, but that’s the truth. I stopped doing it, but maybe I’ll try again in the future. I think I still need to find a form of mindfulness and meditation that really works for me. The closest I get is, it sounds lame but, yoga.

 

FAULT: What’s nXt for you?

AX: It’s my new album, CollXtion II, which is currently unsolved, but I’ve been posting tracks to get fan feedback and figure out which songs to put on the album. That’s a process that is ongoing.

 

FAULT: What is your FAULT?

AX: I think my biggest flaw is being a little too motivated by my own interests at all times. I’m a little too self-centered, but I feel like I’m aware of that, and that’s a good starting point.

 

Find Allie X on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

 

Words Cody Fitzpatrick

Photography Jack Alexander

Styling A+C:Studio

Hair and Make-Up Sadie Hewlett

Special Thanks The Wheatsheaf Tooting Bec